Have you spoken to your wife about your fantasies? This is the only post I have read, so I can't say for sure whether you've already spoken in-depth about this.

I have approached the subjects before with my wife but she has now interest in it really, she has played with me before but is not keen. She was actually more interested when she was not on the pill really, it makes me wonder.

I find the same problem with Jack. I approached the subject in so many different ways over the past year or so, but just in doing so it seems to be "wrong". The problem with me is that I want to be dominated, and I don't want to have to ask for it. Just asking for it is going against everything that I want from the experience.

Yet, he won't take the hints. We tried a few times, but he never seemed to enjoy it that much, and his excuse is that he isn't "creative" enough. I lie there, tied up half-heartedly with a blindfold on, while he ponders on what to do, before eventually doing something very cliched like candle wax against skin...

Been there, done that...

I could write my fantasies, but I believe that it would only frustrate me more.

Have your tried introducing the idea gradual.. for instance joke about being spanked and perhaps involving that.. you never know... just an idea.

I read once that a fetish is not something that you want to enhance sex, it's something that you NEED to fully enjoy sex.

When I have average sex, it's just like two bodies rubbing next to eachother. Sure, it feels slightly pleasurable, but I don't climax and I barely enjoy it. I do it because he (or she) enjoys it, and that's the only reason.

Jack puts his evasion of BDSM down to a lack of props, though it's creativity that he lacks. I took the time to point out thousands of ideas that could be done without the expensive toys and tools, but it's like his ears close up when I give him ideas. So, next time we get some money, I'm going to hold him to his word and push him out of the flat - refusing to let him in until he's purchased a toy or two! I'll let you know how that one goes...

Don't hold out your breath for much luck in that respect, we have a full bottom drawer or restraints, cuffs, vibrators and gels, I bought her thigh length leather boots and she has never had them on.
I have only ever been allowed to tie her up once which she was not comfortable with so I suggested her tieing me up which she did only once and it was really half hearted attempt, which in turn did nothing for me.

I hope you have better luck.